do whatever it takes to make life worth living, just don't be mean

watch out- it's about to get real here.

with the recent events of this past month, i haven't been able to stop thinking about the effects of bullying and what we can do to make a difference.

first, i want to share a personal story with you from my childhood.

(read with caution, i do type the "f" word, and i don't mean "f**k.")

i had a nickname when i was eleven. some clever kid decided to call me "maggot the faggot," and it caught like wildfire throughout my seventh grade classroom. (well actually the way everyone spelled it was "maget the faget," if you're gonna insult me, at least have the decency to spell it correctly.)

that year, on valentines day i received a hate valentine. the kid who gave it to me made me promise i would never show it to my parents. i didn't understand why, so i just agreed. a whole bunch of the class was watching and laughing. when i opened it, my little eleven year old heart broke. the valentine was sky dancer themed and it said, "you're sweet!" but the kid had written "NOT" in between the the kind words. as if that wasn't enough, there was an arrow that pointed to more hurtful scribbled words, "because u eat magets."

and on the reverse side was more, "maget the faget," "magee the loser," "ur a loser," "fag," "LOSER," (you get the picture.)

clearly this kid was really creative. anyways, that piece of paper hurt. i didn't cry at school. it devastated me- you're not supposed to receive a hate valentine, but i refused to give anyone the satisfaction of seeing me cry. but once i was home and safe in my room i laid on my bed, face into the pillow and cried.

this is just one small example of the cruelty which occurs in schools all over the united states. obviously there are much worse cases, but this particular one hurt me. those words hurt. though, since then, my life has gotten better. much better. i have been able to make choices and surround myself with fantastically amazing individuals that truly make me wonder how there ever was a time they weren't in my life.

i decided to write this blog because bullying is an extremely important issue and it needs to cease. when i was in seventh grade we didn't have facebook, myspace, twitter, skype or any other social network system. some of us didn't even have aol instant messenger then. when i left school and walked away from the bully, the bullying stopped. i was able to remove myself from the situation, and get a few bully free hours at home. i was able to feel safe.

clearly times have changed, and cyber bullying makes it harder for kids to feel like they can escape it. the bell rings and even though they leave school, the internet is everywhere- and they no longer have a space where they feel safe from the bullying.

this past month has been a wake up call- too many teens (specifically lgbt youth) are feeling trapped with no hope in sight. we need to show them it gets better, and while we're at it, lets make a promise to continue better-ing the "better."

dan savage created a youtube channel titled, "it gets better."

(if you haven't seen it, you should do yourself a favor and check it out. also, if you know any lgbt youth that may be struggling, gently point them in the direction of this youtube channel.)

here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/user/itgetsbetterproject

one of my favorite humans on the planet made a video for this project. who is that human you ask? why, its the one and only kate bornstein!

the video kate bornstein made for the "it gets better" project, is something i think every human should watch.

here's the video (please, please PLEASE watch.)

lets spread this message from kate to everyone you know-

"here's all you need to remember to know that life gets better: you can do whatever it takes to make your life more worth living. really! anything baby! you can do anything it takes to make your life more worth living. anything. there's only one rule you need to follow in order to make that kind of blanket permission work, only one rule in the whole frickin' book- don't be mean."

because if everyone used this as their mantra, bullying wouldn't exist.

and that's the kind of world i'd like to see someday.

xoxo